Monthly Archives: September 2012

Abigail

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I was doing of bunch of errands with a friend (Bizzle) on a Saturday a few months back. We both had to get some food shopping done so we decided to just get our errands done together. As per usual lots of shenanigans happen which always makes it more entertaining.

We were in Stop and Shop picking up a few things. We were at the check out counter and the woman who checked us out was named Gail. I saw what I thought was the grand prize at the check out line. They had Gerber Graduates mini fruits in Apple. They are so delicious and they were on sale. I was thinking to myself how can I buy these treats I have no children and felt a bit crazy. I tasted them at my friends house who has kids and they were just so tasty, I had to have these delicious treats. So I put a few bags on the counter and proceeded with my check out. Because I did not want to seem like the crazy one. I told Gail that these treats were on sale and that my 2 year old daughter Abigail just loved them. Gail proceeded to tell me what a great mother I was for providing her with such nutritious treats. My friend was in front of me and could not even make eye contact with me for the lies that were taking place, but I just could not stop myself. Gail asked us both if we would like to make a donation to the Jimmy Fund and you get a card that could you discounts. So of course we said yes it was such a good cause. We left our friend Gail and entered the parking lot. My friend found a dollar in the parking lot and said it was because she did a good deed. So I said to her why do you think I did not find a dollar in the parking lot, I also did a good deed. Bizzle says to me……wait for it, wait for it: it’s because you lied to Gail about your 2 year old daughter Abigail who just loves these Gerber Graduates!

I guess the moral of the story here is: if you are feeling a little crazy go with it, it could turn into a great story!


Expect the Unexpected

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So a few months ago my brother and I had what I like to call a Facebook war! Which started when he found an award that I received in high school, it was a superlative for Most Immature. He decided to post it on Facebook and thus the war began. Being the kind sister I am, I did not want to make him feel left out so I found some items that I thought he might like and put them on Facebook. I found an old report card, a photo he made for my Dad and my super honor role award for myself. I put these items on Facebook and my brother told me that this means war!

A few days later I was at my house and looking for my hair towel that I had on the bathroom counter. I could not find it anywhere, I looked in places that I had been thinking maybe I misplaced it; the fridge, the hamper, the closet, and so on. I thought I was starting to lose my mind. So I called my mother and said to her “do you think Chris took my spare key and is playing a joke on me” she said she really doubted it but she would investigate. I told her to keep it a secret because it sounded nuts and I thought this was his payback for the Facebook war.  This went on for days I would come home from work and start the search again and everyday I would come up empty handed.

Fast forward to Saturday, I was out with a my friend (let’s call her Bizzle) and we were doing some errands together that day after a nail appt. I had to make some returns at Kohls so we were at the return counter and I gave the women my bag with about 4 items to return. The women at the counter made a weird face and said to me “is this ours” and I looked up and saw that is was my hair towel. Turns out when I was trying on the items that I had purchased I was in my bathroom and when I grabbed everything to return I picked up my hair towel. I was in tears from laughing so hard and so was Bizzle. I went on for days about this towel and how I could not find it. I called my mother and told her what had happened and said turns out Chris did not take my key and steal the towel to make me feel crazy!

Moral of this story; I am crazy and the fact that I made up this story in my head makes me just a little more crazy then I thought!


USDA Prime Beef

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My friends like to say that I have “a guy” for everything! While holding true to this, a good friend of mine, was in the market for a new tattoo. So being the good friend that I am, I took him to my friends tattoo place. The three amigos arrived for the appointment and settled in, but I don’t think we had any idea what was in store for us that evening in August!

My friend was about 20 minutes into his tattoo when a man came into the tattoo studio. The man was clearly drunk and not sure exactly what else he was on. He asked the tattoo artist if he remembered him from 4 years ago and that he had a rather large tattoo on his chest (which he showed us). He told the tattoo artist that he purchased the tattoo be gone cream and that he had been using it for quite some time. I have to think that it must of worked a little because his tattoo looked like a blob on his chest.

So the man asked the tattoo artist to take a look, but he was busy working on my friends tattoo so this was not possible. The man starting chatting with me and my other friend and said to us, “I have another tattoo” so we said oh you do. And things just went downhill from here……

The man wanted to show us his other tattoo, after all we were in a tattoo parlor so why not! The man proceeds to unbutton his pants and shows us his buttocks and low and behold we discovered tattoo number 2! The tattoo was a photo and writing that said “USDA Prime Beef” with the logo, of course I starting laughing hysterically, while my other friend was in shock. The man now puts his pants back on and goes outside to chat with some of the other patrons on the street and then he comes back inside the tattoo studio. He says to me honey….and for some strange reason I answer but I say to him, when you say honey I want to make sure you are referring to me and he says yes I am talking to you honey.  He wanted to ask me what were my thoughts on what his new tattoo be to cover up “the blob”, I really did not have any good ideas but my friend suggested to him a nice big black panther may do the trick.

The man left and thought this would be the last time we would see him, however when my friend was in Reading 2 days later, she found our friend passed out on the lawn near a gas station. He was three towns away from where we first met him!

I think the lesson that we can all learn from this is: never judge a book by its cover, because you may just have one of the best nights with friends from a chance encounter!


My Summer Vacation!

ImageThis September like many Septembers the family headed to Gaeta, Italy for vacation! We visited family and friends, but I think its the life lessons that I learned on the vacation is what really makes the trip worth it!

First off let me start by saying that the culture is completely different and sometimes I would see things that would actually shock me, and for those who know me well I don’t shock easily. For starters I would see people showing excessive signs of affection at the strangest places for example the cemetery, the local merkato and the beach! Turns out that you can fit two people on a lounge chair and really there is no need for privacy! Clothing is pretty optional at the beach or really anywhere. You can stare at people, because really you are the odd one if you are not staring! If you drink camomile tea at any time of the day, you are the jerk! The only acceptable beverage to drink at any time of the day is espresso even if you are a child!

I grew up in a pretty strict household where most of the time my father only had to give us “the look” and we knew he meant business, however while vacationing in Italy I realized there has been a shift in the ranks! Turns out in Italy if your grandmother or really any elder that is watching you, you are able to kick and yell and hit! In return that elder will give you a beating in the streets no questions asked!

But I think yet the best lesson I learned this year is this! If you are a male child in a family you are king! Here is what happened to me on this wonderful beach day in beautiful Gaeta, while I was enjoying breathtaking views and embracing all that my vacationed had offered me. When you go to the beach you are given this lovely section that gives you 2 lounge chairs and an umbrella and table so you can really enjoy yourself. On this particular day we had neighbors, these neighbors took the cake! They had a little boy maybe about 6 years old and this little boy whined and yelled and continuously got his way. His mother made a comment to his older sister who was maybe 14 or 15, that really do you want to listen to him whine, just let him have his way. He was playing in the sand pretty much in our area and decided that he did not need a bathing suit and continuously pounced in the sand and made sure that sand was in EVERY part of his body! When the boy looked at us he threatened us with a shovel full of sand. Finally this boy would go down to the water to get a swim, here is the part that truly confused me. The boy would put his bathing suit on to go in the water. So of course I had a few questions: 1. maybe he should rinse off before getting into the water with sand everywhere in his bathing suit, 2. I am pretty sure this boy has some sort of rash from this activity, 3. why were the parents letting this happen.

In conclusion I came up with this. Why not send my parents (who were in attendance on vacation) a postcard, explaining some of the things that I saw on “My Summer Vacation” and if for no other reason, the mailman might think we were nuts! (photo of the postcard is attached).

Vacation was great, tons of laughs and at the end of the of day who better to spend it then with your equally crazy family members!

 

 


French Cruller

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Every Friday at work is Donut Friday in the IT department. I have the honor of being inviting for a donut. My donut of choice is the French Cruller. On this particular Friday, I was framed. I was lured into the IT room and asked to pick up my french cruller donut, so I did so along with my french cruller partner in crime who shall remain nameless. Once we entered the room we were asked to perform our usual “french cruller dance” so we proceeded and went on for six minutes about the cruller and how fabulous it was and other silly stories. About one hour later I was approached by one of the IT guys with a USB port so that I could download a video of myself and my french cruller friend taped while dancing, singing and other sorts of stories as we went on for six minutes. Did I mention that the video was taped in the worst possible angle, I am pretty sure I had about 6 chins in this video. Needless to say I am aware every Friday since to not dance and to only pick up my donut and leave!

Let this be a lesson……..nothing is ever free!